In 2 days time I head to India and at the moment instead of focusing on what I’m going to see and do there I’m adding more items to my ‘to do before I go’ list. Is it really that important if I don’t get the rest of my winter pansies planted out? No. Do I really need to buy headache tablets before I go? Actually yes, and I should probably buy some for my husband as well. He’ll no doubt need them more than I will.
I have always travelled with my work so the children are well used to me being away. But I haven’t been on a long trip since before the children were born, which means we are all feeling a bit uneasy and apprehensive about me leaving.
My youngest son has been following me around like a shadow for the last few days. He knows I will miss his seventh birthday. I’m also going to be away for Judy’s 2nd transfer test but thankfully she is too laid back to be bothered. I’m the one who’s uncomfortable with it. Likewise I won’t be around for Louis, who should be revising for his exams. Notice how I say ‘should be revising’, I know that if I’m not there he will find lots of other important (and essentially useless) things to do instead of studying.
But you know what, they will all be fine. This is simply me in typical mother mode, thinking that everything will fall apart when I leave, that unless I’m there things won’t get done properly. What a load of rubbish. Everything will get done that needs to get done. It will not be done the way I do it, but it doesn’t mean it’s not right (believe me when I say it has taken me a long time to finally admit that).
So despite my slight nervousness about leaving the children and my greater nervousness about what state the house might be in when I come back, I know that it’ll all work out fine because I am lucky enough to have a great support network around me. I just couldn’t do this job without it.
All of which has made me realise that Christian Aid and our partners are the only support network for the people in India that we are going to see.
And now instead of thinking of my to do list, I am getting excited about seeing that support first hand and finding out what else we can do to help. I’ll keep you posted from India.